On the Lighter Side

Thanks to Michael Grossman....

The recession has hit everybody really hard...
 
My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
 
CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
 
Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
 
A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of Pennies while she danced.
 
I saw a Mormon with only one wife.
 
If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
 
McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
 
Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.
 
Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.
 
My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!
 
A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
 
A picture is now only worth 200 words.
 
When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.
 
The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.
 
... finally, ....
 
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline and got a call center in Pakistan.  When I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.